Post by hammerstein on Jun 27, 2017 8:35:42 GMT -8
(NOTE: This takes place during the Temerario sequence)
On a far away mountaintop Wasabi and Hammerstein, The Broddhist Monks, watch the battle going on at the funhouse. The Monks sit, drinking Orange Fanta and eating Cheetos Puffs (so any stains on their orange robes would be less noticeable.)
Hammerstein: Bro, we’re so not getting involved in this battle, are we?
Wasabi: Absotively not, my bro.
Hammerstein: Hey, Bro DiMaggio, meditation time. You wanna set an alarm?
Wasabi: Sure thing, Bro Satrianni.
The Monks’ plans are interrupted by two clowns, one normal size, the other huge, climbing to the top of the mountain to The Monks’ observation area. Hammerstein and Wasabi rise to greet them.
Monks: NOMESTA, CLOWN BROS!
The clowns look at each other and shake their head before looking back at The Monks. Wasabi holds out two fresh Orange Fantas, while Hammerstein holds out a newly opened bag of Cheetos Puffs.
Monks: PLEASE ACCEPT OUR HOSPITALITY AND THESE TASTY TREATS.
The smaller of the two clowns sneers.
Clown #1: We don't want your hospitality or your fucking treets. We want this mountaintop for a tactical advantage, and we’re gonna throw you two off and watch your bodies splatter on the ground below. Yours will make a huge splatter, fatty.
Hammerstein: BRO! FATTY?! DUDE I'VE DROPPED ALMOST TWENTY POUNDS!
Wasabi: Easy, bro. Find your happy place. Find your happy place.
Hammerstein: MMMMMM. A king size bed wit Pollo Bucket Chicken, ice cold Nesquik, and my smokin hot wife Holly, wearing nuttin but a….
Wasabi: BRO! Find your happy place, bro, don't tell it.
Hammerstein : Bro, I'm sorry. I'm knew ta dis monk stuff.
The clowns have had enough.
Clown #1: We've had enough! Give us this mountaintop or die.
Wasabi walks up and gets in the clown’s face.
Wasabi: Bro, you clowns has one chance to take this mountaintop. You must be able to answer the question that has perplexed mankind for thousands of years.
The clowns look at each other.
Clown #1: Ok, what is the question?
Wasabi: Hit it, Hammerbro.
Hammerstein : Why don't chicken breasts have nipples?
The clowns look at each other and scratch their heads. Then their eyes blaze with anger. They turn to attack the monks. The smaller clown charges first, but Wasabi crane kicks him in the crotch so hard, his testicles hang from his mouth. Hammerstein comes over and hits his Droppin Da Hammer Stunner on him, causing him to bite off his own juevos. The clown falls off the mountaintop, screaming.
The larger clown stomps toward Wasabi, who repeats the crane kick. Hammerstein grabs him around the neck and tries to stunner the huge clown. But the clown is so huge, Hammerstein only rips his head off. The clown’s body falls down the mountain. Hammerstein sits on the ground, holding the clown’s head in his hands, a look of confusion on his face.
Wasabi: BRO, YOU SO TOTALLY RIPPED THAT DUDE'S HEAD OFF!
Hammerstein: I SO TOTALLY DID, BRO!
Wasabi: Bro, I have an idea. Hold me a toe!
Hammerstein grabs the clown head, drops to a knee then sets the head on his big toe, steadying it with his index finger. Wasabi takes a few steps back, gets a running start, and kicks the clown head with all his might. The head goes flying, end over end, before hitting Styx in the back of the head.
Out of nowhere, the Monday Night Football theme begins to play.
Wasabi and Hammerstein throw their hands in the air.
Hammerstein: IT'S GOOD!!!
The Monks fistbump, brohug, then do a victory dance, before beginning to walk down the mountain.
Wasabi: Bro, we’re so gonna have to fight now.
Hammerstein: We are gonna kick so much ass, bro.
Fistbump.
On a far away mountaintop Wasabi and Hammerstein, The Broddhist Monks, watch the battle going on at the funhouse. The Monks sit, drinking Orange Fanta and eating Cheetos Puffs (so any stains on their orange robes would be less noticeable.)
Hammerstein: Bro, we’re so not getting involved in this battle, are we?
Wasabi: Absotively not, my bro.
Hammerstein: Hey, Bro DiMaggio, meditation time. You wanna set an alarm?
Wasabi: Sure thing, Bro Satrianni.
The Monks’ plans are interrupted by two clowns, one normal size, the other huge, climbing to the top of the mountain to The Monks’ observation area. Hammerstein and Wasabi rise to greet them.
Monks: NOMESTA, CLOWN BROS!
The clowns look at each other and shake their head before looking back at The Monks. Wasabi holds out two fresh Orange Fantas, while Hammerstein holds out a newly opened bag of Cheetos Puffs.
Monks: PLEASE ACCEPT OUR HOSPITALITY AND THESE TASTY TREATS.
The smaller of the two clowns sneers.
Clown #1: We don't want your hospitality or your fucking treets. We want this mountaintop for a tactical advantage, and we’re gonna throw you two off and watch your bodies splatter on the ground below. Yours will make a huge splatter, fatty.
Hammerstein: BRO! FATTY?! DUDE I'VE DROPPED ALMOST TWENTY POUNDS!
Wasabi: Easy, bro. Find your happy place. Find your happy place.
Hammerstein: MMMMMM. A king size bed wit Pollo Bucket Chicken, ice cold Nesquik, and my smokin hot wife Holly, wearing nuttin but a….
Wasabi: BRO! Find your happy place, bro, don't tell it.
Hammerstein : Bro, I'm sorry. I'm knew ta dis monk stuff.
The clowns have had enough.
Clown #1: We've had enough! Give us this mountaintop or die.
Wasabi walks up and gets in the clown’s face.
Wasabi: Bro, you clowns has one chance to take this mountaintop. You must be able to answer the question that has perplexed mankind for thousands of years.
The clowns look at each other.
Clown #1: Ok, what is the question?
Wasabi: Hit it, Hammerbro.
Hammerstein : Why don't chicken breasts have nipples?
The clowns look at each other and scratch their heads. Then their eyes blaze with anger. They turn to attack the monks. The smaller clown charges first, but Wasabi crane kicks him in the crotch so hard, his testicles hang from his mouth. Hammerstein comes over and hits his Droppin Da Hammer Stunner on him, causing him to bite off his own juevos. The clown falls off the mountaintop, screaming.
The larger clown stomps toward Wasabi, who repeats the crane kick. Hammerstein grabs him around the neck and tries to stunner the huge clown. But the clown is so huge, Hammerstein only rips his head off. The clown’s body falls down the mountain. Hammerstein sits on the ground, holding the clown’s head in his hands, a look of confusion on his face.
Wasabi: BRO, YOU SO TOTALLY RIPPED THAT DUDE'S HEAD OFF!
Hammerstein: I SO TOTALLY DID, BRO!
Wasabi: Bro, I have an idea. Hold me a toe!
Hammerstein grabs the clown head, drops to a knee then sets the head on his big toe, steadying it with his index finger. Wasabi takes a few steps back, gets a running start, and kicks the clown head with all his might. The head goes flying, end over end, before hitting Styx in the back of the head.
Out of nowhere, the Monday Night Football theme begins to play.
Wasabi and Hammerstein throw their hands in the air.
Hammerstein: IT'S GOOD!!!
The Monks fistbump, brohug, then do a victory dance, before beginning to walk down the mountain.
Wasabi: Bro, we’re so gonna have to fight now.
Hammerstein: We are gonna kick so much ass, bro.
Fistbump.