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Post by Nirvana on Jun 10, 2017 1:11:22 GMT -8
We open to the dazzling sights of the midway as Carny Pro Wrestling's tour of Texas and Mexico begins. Tonight the midway is full of the freaking sights of professional wrestling's first true freakshow. Near the center of the midway a stage has been set up by the "Powers That Be". Upon this stage is a karaoke machine and a set of tapes, each one chronicling a different genre of music.
Onto the stage steps the defacto owner of CPW, Gus The Bust. The haggard clown looks the surrounding crowd over and gives them a healthy grin.
Gus The Bust: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's show! Now, on Wednesday you will experience the main event! Tonight, however, we come to assault your ear drums!
The crowd roars it's approval.
Gus The Bust: Now? Who's man enough to step on this stage and entertain these ravenous fans?
[EVENT DETAILS]
EVENT ENDS TUE. JUNE 13th 2017
PLAY BY POST. REPLY TO TOPIC IN CHARACTER.
EVENT IS OPTIONAL.
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Post by Buck U on Jun 10, 2017 9:05:29 GMT -8
Tiger grabs the mic.
"This is dedicated to my wife... who thinks I've been acting crazy lately. DJ, hit the fucking music!
"You May Be Right"
Friday night I crashed your party Saturday I said I'm sorry Sunday came and trashed me out again I was only having fun Wasn't hurting anyone And we all enjoyed the weekend for a change
I've been stranded in the combat zone I walked through Bedford Stuy alone Even rode my motorcycle in the rain And you told me not to drive But I made it home alive So you said that only proves that I'm insane
You may be right I may be crazy But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for Turn out the light Don't try to save me You may be wrong for all I know But you may be right
Remember how I found you there Alone in your electric chair I told you dirty jokes until you smiled You were lonely for a man I said "Take me as I am" 'Cause you might enjoy some madness for awhile
Now think of all the years you tried to Find someone to satisfy you I might be as crazy as you say If I'm crazy then it's true That it's all because of you And you wouldn't want me any other way
You may be right I may be crazy But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for It's too late to fight It's too late to change me You may be wrong for all I know But you may be right
You may be right I may be crazy But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for Turn out the light Don't try to save me You may be wrong for all I know But you may be right You may be wrong but you may be right You may be wrong but you may be right"
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Anna
Jobber
Posts: 49
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Post by Anna on Jun 10, 2017 12:26:19 GMT -8
The crowd cheers TMR's rendition of Billy Joel. But there's two people sitting at a table who are less than impressed. One...
"He sounded mechanical. As if he copied and pasted song lyrics."
...is a snarky bitch who has dyed her hair more times than Jeff Hardy. She speaks in monotone. The other...
"Yoo would no abowt sounding mechanical."
...is a Time Lord.
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Post by mjolnir on Jun 10, 2017 13:11:03 GMT -8
It's as TMR is getting off stage that someone else hops up there, taking the stage is Ryu Aka! The dragon takes hold of the microphone and he thumbs through the catalog, determining what the song of choice will be.
"Oh, all I want to know All I want"
Aka starts bobbing his head along to the song, getting a feel for it. His voice isn't exactly going to win him American Idol, but it's serviceable for a punk song. Some of the audience getting into the feel of the track already.
"With just a touch of my burning hand I send my astro zombies to rape the land Prime directive, exterminate The whole human race And your face drops in a pile of flesh And then your heart, heart pounds Till it pumps in death Prime directive, exterminate Whatever stands left"
Pressing the microphone into his lips, Aka rapid fires the lyrics in a fashion impressively accurate to early Danzig. Stomping around the stage, he points out to various fans and waves at them to sing along if they know the words. A couple oblige, one he even leans towards and let's sing the next part with him.
"All I wanted to say And all I gotta do Who'd I do this for Hey, me or you And all I wanted to say And all I gotta do Who'd I do this for Hey, me or you"
Wildly ruffling the hair of the audience member, Aka bounces across the stage like a mad man. He air guitars and throws the microphone every which way, pointing out some more fans.
"Oh, all I want to know All I want"
Pausing, he winks at a few of the ladies in attendance with a smirk.
"With just a touch of my burning hand I'm gonna live my life to to destroy your world Prime directive, exterminate The whole fuckin' race
Then your face drops in a pile of flesh And then your heart, heart pounds And it pumps in death Prime directive, exterminate The whole fuckin' place well"
Perhaps because he's not a professional singer, Aka snatches a cup of water left unattended and he chugs it. Smashing the plastic cup against his skull, he tosses it into the audience!
"All I wanted to say And all I gotta do Who'd I do this for Hey, me or you
And all I wanted to say And all I gotta do Who'd I do this for Hey, me or you"
Running around the stage, Aka is surprisingly agile for a man his size when he leaps up onto one of the speakers set up for the karaoke. He scales up the gradually larger sound system like a set of stairs, climbing to the top and throwing back his head to belt out the finale.
"Oh, all I want to know All I want to know All I want to know All I want oh
Go!"
Head banging along to the finish of the song, he jaunts down the speakers and hops off the shortest one, miming a big guitar strum in the process! There's a decent amount of applause for him, some cheers, even a whistle or two from the fairer sex. He bows and he sprints off the stage, looking like he's channeled his inner Ultimate Warrior.
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Anna
Jobber
Posts: 49
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Post by Anna on Jun 10, 2017 13:38:49 GMT -8
"Apparently, ruffling some random guy's hair and smashing plastic cups on your head is punk now."
Snarky bitch drinks her coffee. Black.
"Eye fought punk wuz dead."
Time Lord chugs her still flaming alcoholic beverage. Snarky Bitch smirks.
"It is after that performance."
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Post by Mariano Fernandez on Jun 10, 2017 14:30:12 GMT -8
Ever brave, DA #TROLL GUY Mariano Fernandez climbs up on stage, decked out in a full Revolutionary Bluecoat uniform, complete with tricorn hat.
He takes the mic, and takes a deep breath.
"Hey yo. How you doing, mang."
The crowd in attendance gives a huge pop, and Mariano raises a hand for them to quiet down, at which he goes on.
"You may be wondering why I'm dressed like this is the goddamned Revolution, chicos, but see I have a friend with me here. Redd Thunder! GET OVER HERE, MANG!"
Redd Thunder joins Mariano on stage, clad in a similar Bluecoat uniform, but not without his mask on.
"I AM REDD THUNDER AND I AM BORN OF THE GODS! I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED BY THIS WARRIOR TO JOIN HIM IN BATTLE!"
"That's right, chicos, 'Cause we're gonna take you to a very certain place at a very certain point in time!"
"THE BATTLE OF YORKTOWN, SEVENTEEN EIGHTY-ONE!"
At that point, an ensemble of dancers dressed as Bluecoats join Mariano and Redd on stage as the beat from "Yorktown" from the Hamilton musical begins to hit.
"MONSIEUR HAMILTON!"
"Monsieur Lafayette!"
"IN COMMAND WHERE YOU BELONG!"
"How you say? No sweat! We're finally on the field, we've had quite a run."
"IMMIGRANTS!"
Beat.
"WE GET THE JOB DONE!"
Mariano and Redd high five each other as they sing the words in unison.
"So what happens if we win?"
"I GO BACK TO FRANCE, I BRING FREEDOM TO MY PEOPLE IF I'M GIVEN THE CHANCE!"
"We'll be with you when you do!"
"GO LEAD YOUR MEN!"
"See you on the other side!"
"'TILL WE MEET AGAIN, LET'S GO!"
Redd Thunder takes off running as Mariano begins singing his part.
"I am not throwin’ away my shot! I am not throwin’ away my shot! Hey yo, I’m just like my country, I’m young Scrappy and hungry And I’m not throwin’ away my shot! I am not throwin’ away my shot! 'Till the world turns upside down!"
"THE WORLD TURNS UPSIDE DOWN!"
After the ensemble hits the chorus, Mariano resumes his beat.
"I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory This is where it gets me: on my feet The enemy ahead of me If this is the end of me, at least I have a friend with me Weapon in my hand, a command, and my men with me! Then I remember my Eliza’s expecting me... Not only that, my Eliza’s expecting! We gotta go, gotta get the job done! Gotta start a new nation, gotta meet my son!"
As he sings this part, he motions the ensemble as directing an army.
"Take the bullets out your gun! (WHAT!?) The bullets out your gun! (WHAT?) We move under cover and we move as one! Through the night, we have one shot to live another day! We cannot let a stray gunshot give us away! We will fight up close, seize the moment and stay in it It’s either that or meet the business end of a bayonet The code word is "Rochambeau", dig me? ("ROCHAMBEAU!") You've got your orders, now go, mang, go!"
The ensemble runs off stage, as Mariano continues the track.
"And so the American experiment begins With my friends all scattered to the winds Laurens is in South Carolina, redefining brav’ry We'll never be free until we end slavery!"
At that point, Redd Thunder reappears on stage, as if waiting for Mariano.
"When we finally drive the British away Lafayette is there waiting—"
"IN CHESAPEAKE BAY!"
"How did we know that this plan would work? We had a spy on the inside. That’s right!"
"HERCULES MULLIGAN! A TAILOR SPYIN' ON THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT! I TAKE THEIR MEASUREMENTS, INFORMATION AND I SMUGGLE IT ("UP!") TO MY BROTHER'S REVOLUTIONARY COVENANT I'M RUNNIN' WITH THE SONS OF LIBERTY, AND I AM LOVIN' IT! SEE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU UP AGAINST THE RUFFIANS WE IN THE SHIT NOW, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA SHOVEL IT! HERCULES MULLIGAN, I NEED NO INTRODUCTION WHEN YOU KNOCK ME BACK DOWN I GET THE FUCK UP AGAIN!"
Mariano and Redd go back to gesturing towards the troops ensemble.
"LEFT! RIGHT! HOLD! GO! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT!"
The beat comes to a standstill, as Mariano speaks quietly.
"After a week of fighting, a young man in a red coat stands on a parapet... We lower our guns as he frantically waves a white handkerchief. And just like that, it's over. We tend to our wounded, we count our dead Black and white soldiers wonder alike if this really means freedom..."
"NOT. YET."
Mariano's speaking imitates the music as it grows progressively stronger.
"We negotiate the terms of surrender, I see George Washington smile... We escort their men out of Yorktown They stagger home single file! Tens of thousands of people flood the streets There are screams and church bells ringing And as our fallen foes retreat I hear the drinking song they’re singing…"
The ensemble starts singing in unison.
"The world turn'd upside down The world turn'd upside down The world turn'd upside down... THE WORLD TURN'D UPSIDE DOOOOOOWN! DOOOOOOOOOOWN DOOOOOOOOOOWN DOOOOOOOOOOWN DOOOOOOOOOOWN!"
"FREEDOM FOR AMERICA, FREEDOM FOR FRANCE!"
"DOOOOOOOOOOWN DOOOOOOOOOOWN DOOOOOOOOOOWN DOOOOOOOOOOWN!"
"Gotta start a new nation, gotta meet my son!"
"DOOOOOOOOOOWN DOOOOOOOOOOWN DOOOOOOOOOOWN DOOOOOOOOOOWN!"
"We won!" "WE WON!" "We won!" "WE WON!"
"THE WORLD TURN'D UPSIIIIIIIIIDE... DOWN!"
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Post by hammerstein on Jun 10, 2017 15:49:22 GMT -8
Hammerstein walks up on stage and leans toward the mic.
"Best Friends Day was dis week, and wit dat in mind, I wanna dedicate dis song to my best friend, Tiger Mask Red....
Hit it....
I'd Like to
Shoot you in the ass with a BB Gun Lay there in the tall grass and laugh at what I done Put a blood blister up on each bun I'd Like to shoot you in the ass with a BB Gun
I'd Love to rub your tooth brush on a sick monkey's butt Give your home phone number to some perverted nut Tell everybody what you really weigh and then just for fun I'd Like to shoot you in the ass with a BB GunLike to shoot you in the ass with a BB Gun Lay there in the tall grass and wait for the cops to come Put a Blood blister up on each bun I'd Like to shoot you in the ass with a BB Gun
I'd Love to kick your poodle I'd Love to sling your cat Bust your Yani CD's with a baseball bat Send you fat mouth momma sailin' like the flyin nun I'd Like to shoot you in the ass with a BB Gun
I'd Like to shoot you in the ass with a BB Gun Lay there in the tall grass and wait for the cops to come Put a Blood blister up on each bun I'd Like to pop Tiger Mask red right square in the ass with a Red Ryder BB Gu-huuun!
Da Hammer loves ya buddy!"
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Post by Buck U on Jun 10, 2017 16:00:20 GMT -8
"Son of a bitch!"
Tiger Mask Red stands up from his seat. A hand reaches out and grabs him by the wrist.
"Don't you even think about it, Tiger," his wife Charlotte says.
He growls at her but says nothing. He knows better than argue with a six month pregnant woman. Reluctantly he sits back down and silently plots his revenge.
Meanwhile, Charlotte waves to Hammerstein and applauds his performance.
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Post by mjolnir on Jun 10, 2017 17:44:35 GMT -8
Running around the gathering, slapping hands with any fan wanting one, Aka finds his way to one of the tables near the back. It's there that he finds his younger brother sitting peacefully, reading The Thief, with his glasses on. While the imagery of a dragon man in glasses is humorous to most, Aka pays no mind when he sits down and takes a sip from Ao's cup.
"Have fun?"
Ao asks with a tone showing he's only half paying attention to his older brother's chugging of his soda.
"Shit yeah! What isn't fun about this?! I got a match coming up, we got karaoke, and I got to sing a Misfits song!"
Chuckling, Aka takes another swig of the soda and Ao politely smiles.
"Mhm. Yes, I heard it, like I have a hundred times in the Impala. Almost sounded like a live cat this time."
Playfully Ao jabs at his brother, setting down his book. Good thing he did too, because Aka grabs him into a headlock and gives him a noogie!
"Oh yeah?! And, what're you going to sing, Frank Sinatra?!"
Aka taunts his brother, laughing as Ao struggles to get out of the headlock. All the moreso when Aka pulls them off of their seats and he starts leading Ao towards the stage. It's a little trickier than one might imagine, trying to move through the crowd so they can wait Ao's turn.
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Post by Nirvana on Jun 10, 2017 23:12:34 GMT -8
Bump
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Post by Buck U on Jun 11, 2017 9:40:37 GMT -8
It's Holly's turn up at the mic and she's looking around.
"Has anyone seen my husband? Jacob and I are supposed to do a duet next."
"He's stuck in the bathroom," someone yells from the back, "somehow the door jammed shut. We'll have him out soon, should only take twenty minutes."
Tiger Mask Red snickers from his table.
"For fuck's sake, Bro," Holly sighs.
She jumps off the stage and retrieves her hockey stick before heading towards the bathroom.
"Don't worry, Hammie, I'll have you out in a minute!"
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Post by hammerstein on Jun 11, 2017 11:35:19 GMT -8
Holly is trying to use her hockey stick to pry the door open, but to no avail.
Holly: Hang on, Hammie. We can still do this.
Hammerstein: I ain't goin anywhere, babe.
Holly runs over to the DJ’s table, slowing down just enough to give Tiger Mask Red the finger. She grabs a headset mic and runs back towards the bathroom, giving TMR the finger again.
Holly: Here, Hammie, use this.
Mrs. Hammerstein slides the headset mic under the bathroom door.
Hammerstein: DANG, BABE! DIS IS AWESOME! I'M LIKE ONE DEM N*SYNC GUYS!
🎵YOU MAY HATE ME BUT IT AIN'T NO LIE, BABY BYE BYE BYE!🎵
Holly beats on the door.
Holly: That was awesome, honey, just like Joey Fatone.
Tiger Mask Red: YOU MEAN JOEY FAT ONE!
Holly: YOU SHUT THE HELL UP! Hammie, you ready?
Hammerstein: I ready!
Holly: OK, DJ!
The opening of ‘I Got You’ by Sonny & Cher plays and Holly starts it off.
Holly: They say we're young and we don't know We won't find out until we grow Hammerstein: Well I don't know if all that's true 'Cause you got me, and baby I got you
Both: Babe I got you babe I got you babe
Holly: They say our love won't pay the rent Before it's earned, our money's all been spent Hammerstein: I guess that's so, we don't have a plot But at least I'm sure of all the things we got
Both: Babe I got you babe I got you babe
Hammerstein: I got flowers in the spring I got you to wear my ring Holly: And when I'm sad, you're a clown And if I get scared, you're always around
Holly: Don't let them say your hair's too long 'Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong Hammerstein: Then put your little hand in mine There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb
Both: Babe I got you babe I got you babe
Hammerstein: I got you to hold my hand Holly: I got you to understand Hammerstein: I got you to walk with me Holly: I got you to talk with me Hammerstein: I got you to kiss goodnight Holly: I got you to hold me tight Hammerstein: I got you, I won't let go Holly: I got you to love me so
Both: I got you…. babe I got you babe I got you babe I got you babe I got you babe I got you babe I got you babe I got you babe!
*FLUSH!*
The door to the bathroom opens with what appears to be minimal effort and a boy around the age of seven or eight walks out, his fingers in his ears. Hammerstein walks out shortly thereafter, holding his nose.
Hammerstein: GOOD GRIEF! DO NOT GO IN THERE! HOW CAN SOMETHING SO VILE COME OUT OF SOMETHING THAT SMALL?
*Points at the boy*
AND HE DIDN'T WASH HIS HANDS!
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Post by Nirvana on Jun 11, 2017 20:47:22 GMT -8
Bump
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Anna
Jobber
Posts: 49
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Post by Anna on Jun 12, 2017 10:19:13 GMT -8
As the crowd give a polite response to the Hammerstein's duet, the DJ is suddenly and inexplicably heave-ho'd the fuck outta his rightful place behind the booth. The fans and assorted carnies look at the ousted music man attempting to scramble to his feet. At the same time... "Vee, hold muh drink." ...Anna Elizabeth Mathews, Master of Time and Space along with a thousand other nicknames, stands up from her place where the two females had been snarking all night. From Manny and Thunder's rousing rendition... "Finally, a performance that isn't complete shit." "Aye'm sorry. Did day sing? I gots distrakted bi that won guy's hair." ...to Hammerstein's ode to his frenemie... "Why shoot em inn tha ass when jew kan shoot him in tha head? I swear, et's almost lyke I didn't train him better." But above everything, it is this damned abomination to Sonny and Cher (along with some alcohol) that has inevitably forced her to appear on stage as Veronica Knox, her companion for tonight in pure bitchery and the sole original Carny left standing, blew out the flames from said drink and gulped it down because fuck it. With a sigh, she looks up to the booth towards...well, herself smirking down as the idiot and the people. Without anybody else ever knowing it, a whole band of Annas have surrounded them. The majority in tuxedos with an assortment of brass instruments ready to pounce with a literal wall of sound. She nods. And they begin. The fans don't know this song, but that doesn't matter. DJ Time Lord doing her job. The brass band doing theirs. Her head bobs as they all find their groove. When she does inevitably bring her voice to the mic, it's an audible whisper. Cool, calm, and in control. "Hey, brother, watt joo thinkin'? Leaf tat old record spinning Yew feel tha rhythm gohin." "Dey kall et lonely diggin'." "Letz end yer tyme too lay low Yoor knees arr bending an so Iit's time ta git hup and let go." "Yoor gonna cum undone." "Hay, mama, howzzit going? Can't cee ur body mooving Doan't leaf tha partee dyin'." "Dey kall et lonely diggin'." "Yoor booty shakin', yoo no Yer hed haz know rite to sai no Tunight ish reddy, set go." The chill call of the main and the throaty response of the many had shocked people. They weren't expecting that. They also didn't expect two more Annas to appear suddenly on stage, each with microphone in hand. All three stage going full blown girl band on your ass, in unison. "Baby, can you move itt roun da rhythm So wii kan get wit em Too tha crowd an giv huss a rock 'n roll round Jus a downtown body body common wit a sooper-hottie Let's go, yesh, no, hell know. Kan ya moove et round tha rhythm Cuz ya kno we're livin' inn the fast lane, speed hup! Itt ain't no game, just turn cup all tha beams Hen I cum up on tha scene."Until now, Main!Anna has been looking down and the mismatched boards that has created this stage. Looking up, there's a grin on her face as those in attendance, perhaps in spite of themselves, begin to sway. She stares though them. "Hay, brotha, what'chu finking? Dat gud ol' sound is ringing. They doan't know wat there missin'." "Dey kall et lonely diggin'." "Letz end yer tyme too lay low Yoor knees arr bending an so Iit's time ta git hup and let go." "Hey, brother, nice an steddy Put down yer drink, ur ready Itt's hard when fings get messy." "Dey kall et lonely diggin'." "Yoor booty shakin', yoo no Yer hed haz know rite to sai no Tunight ish reddy, set go." And in a flash, the trio is among the crowd. They bounce with their words. "Baby, can you move itt roun da rhythm So wii kan get wit em Too tha crowd an giv huss a rock 'n roll round Jus a downtown body body common wit a sooper-hottie Let's go, yesh, no, hell know. Kan ya moove et round tha rhythm Cuz ya kno we're livin' inn the fast lane, speed hup! Itt ain't no game, just turn cup all tha beams Hen I cum up on tha scene."The swaying of hips and bopping of heads is hard to ignore. And it's spreading like some sort of odd flash mob virus that's airborne throughout the entire carnival. Even those brave souls who dare to ride the fifth-hand, sixth-hand, and seven-hand rides cannot help themselves. They wiggle as they can constrained by their steadily eroding seat belts. Kids do it. Clowns do it. Lions, tigers (even those not named Eli), and bears do it. Do they even know what they're doing? Or maybe the better question is does it matter? "Baby, can you move itt roun da rhythm So wii kan get wit em Too tha crowd an giv huss a rock 'n roll round Jus a downtown body body common wit a sooper-hottie Let's go, yesh, no, hell know. Kan ya moove et round tha rhythm Cuz ya kno we're livin' inn the fast lane, speed hup! Itt ain't no game, just turn cup all tha beams Hen I cum up on tha scene."The trio simultaneously drop their mics. But only one manages to fall. The multitudes of Anna disappeared just as quickly as they appeared, leaving just the original. A loud pop emerges from the group as they clear the path for her to return to her seat. Knox is long gone and so's her drink. "Hay, Gus! Watt's et take to git some rum inn this plase?"
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Post by Nirvana on Jun 12, 2017 14:13:33 GMT -8
"We're sorry but Gus the Bust is currently on call. Please dial again later. Beeeeep."
It's Gus' voice all right. Who the hell knows where it's coming from, though. Sounds like the pa system connected to the karaoke machine.
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